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Help! Is My Relationship Breaking Up??

May 16th, 2013 by

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Breaking up is a painful journey so you have got to decide a destination at some point.

Many are still journeying, reliving the experience. Unforgiveness, bitterness, negative attitudes, and words pregnant with pain still said. These ones are still in the throes of that past experience.

Statistics from Tango proves that many have not moved on. Did I say Tango?

You seem to hear this around you, in today’s papers, on the streets, corner, in the taxi, shops, market…someone is talking about how he left her, how she is now single, how they are divorced…it seems never ending.

When there is no closure the book of that last experience is still open.

Continue Reading »

Posted in Bounce Back From Break Ups & Setbacks, Boundaries In Relationships, Women Relationships | No Comments »

Authenticity Attracts

May 3rd, 2013 by

Pretentiousness repels but authenticity attracts, and vulnerability is the pathway to intimacy.”

― Rick Warren

This is the ability to be real and genuine in your approach to life. I grew up trying to cover up my insecurities. I was in a family setting that saw a lot wrong and so I felt wrong. I really did feel like I was the mistake and not “what happened”!

So, I was not the girl that was used to being real, open or honest because my emotional wounds were still bleeding!
When I talk on boundaries I had rigid ones. So, I am not preaching at you, I have had to slowly recover and grow in my authencity.

I am still journeying.
What does authencity do:
1. It is a mark of humility. So, therefore it keeps me staying in the place of grace
2. It increases you ability to relate with with others with compassion
3. It enhances your connection with others
4. It improves your communication as people can sense your genuiness
5. It increases your passionate appeal

Most people are naturally guarded. So they naturally admire those who can share their hearts.
I believe we all have frailties and even though we lead, we need help in some areas.
Maybe, I am a late bloomer in getting this message. But I got it and I am excited about the next level for my business and ministry.

New book: Beyond Sexual Attraction Out! Get your copy at: http://beyondsexualattraction.com

Much love & grace,
Enomfon Ntefon

Posted in Relationships | No Comments »

Be Yourself…! Mum Said!!

Apr 30th, 2013 by

How can I be different and still be connected with others?
How can I be myself in the midst of “glamorous variables”.
We compare and with those who seem to have it all together.

Even Facebook has become partly a place where many seem to vye for some attention and get some little spurts of self esteem boosts.
Our emotional needs are strong.
But can you can stand alone, STRONG and be CENTRED (standing strong in the core of your being, being comfortable in your personality and rock-solid in your CONVICTIONS). You still learn but your CORE VALUES are INTACT, inspite of pressures to change.

Did you know, I am still on my journey too? So, lets keep going on.
We can BE whom we ought to be.
Yes, we can.

When we stand strong being us inspite of pressures to conform.
When we say what needs to be said in wisdom and love then we can truly say we have WON the first lap. Infact, we are making MAJOR LEAP towards being whom we were called to be.

I am getting there too! So let’s journey along as we allow some vulnerability and let others see some of our humanity but still balance that with STRENGTH!

When you are weak, you are STRONG…1 Corinthians 12:9

Much grace & Love,
Enomfon Ntefon

Posted in Boundaries In Relationships, Relationships, Women Relationships | No Comments »

During Dating Check !

Apr 23rd, 2013 by

I know, the attention. The feeling that being asked out can be quite heady…
We did not call it dating and proposal at the time, but I still went through one of those.

Oh you might be thinking, “was she in the Bronze Age or something?”

Oh that time, there was no internet, no facebook or any such distraction.
After 22 years, I seem to have forgotton some things, but there we go!

I was chatting with a precious sister on Sunday and I mentioned this.
But thought to share some of it with you…
But this age. You have got to check:
1. His history/background
a. His family
b. His associations( church, groups, (You do not want to go out with aa loner!)
c. How he spends his spare time
d. His work habits
e. His hygiene
These are just some…
It is easy for anyone to act to impress you. Infact, best foots are put forward.
Dating is not a real situation. It is practised in a simulated enviroment. So, we really need to allow reality to rule our excitement and emotions.
So girls look again and make a strategic move, even in dating.

Did you know, if a man can’t decide what to wear on a date, he might want to wear blue. Studies show that women are attracted to men in blue.

Watch this space, girls! Guys I am partnering with you to educate your wives to be. So, there!

With much love,
Enomfon Ntefon

Posted in Beyond Sexual Attraction, Boundaries In Relationships, Dating and Marriage, Women Relationships | No Comments »

Relationships In Microwave Now? What!

Apr 19th, 2013 by

You cannot get there in a hurry!
I know our attention space has decreased from 12 seconds in
2007 to 8 seconds in 2013!

Does that affect relationship building?
Oh yes!

When I was running a Weight Loss/Wellness Business,
my twins, from time to time,( 7 years at the time),
would run around the scale in a bid to lose weight.
After a few rounds, each would step on the scale and exclaim,
“Oh no”! Its still the same!

The bigger sisters would stare at them in amusement, asking
“What are both you doing?”

“We are losing weight!” they wound pant back.

Funny little people!

Well, sometimes we expect our relationships to be microwaved
in a few minutes.
We need to save time…”Well not in relationship building
(yes, depending on what type it is).

So, let us
1.Build connections deliberately(not facebook type)
2. Let us listen and observe
3. Let us respond to the relationship rhythm and allow the
progression.
4.Let us grow through the conversations, interactions, conflict
and synergy.
5.Allow the process of time, the deliberateness of growth and the reason why
to build in the foundation of trust, acceptance and connectivity.

Watch out for our Attract To Keep Newsletter… in May!
Bringing you news, information, tips and tools to accelerate healthy connections and build stable marriages!
Much love,
Enomfon Ntefon

PS: Join the Start It Right Marriage Workshop at

http://www.winningrelationships.co.uk/star-it-right-marriage-workshop/

PSS: My new book, Beyond Sexual Attraction is available!

You can easily get an e-copy or a hard copy at http://beyondsexualattraction.com
On Amazon in Kindle edition. Link is long. So just type in “beyond sexual attraction” in the search box.

PSSS: Well, just here our microwave story ends, and real strategy to build enduring and stable relationships begins.

Posted in Boundaries In Relationships, Dating and Marriage, Relationships | No Comments »

Beyond Sexual Attraction – Open the New Book!

Mar 2nd, 2013 by

Why is getting back into another relationship ( a healthy one) so difficult after a break up?
Is it the pain of betrayal, your lowered self esteem, ghosts from the past, or issues around generational links? Is it the fear of commitment, intimacy or simply inertia?
The book Beyond Sexual Attraction handles some of this. Moving on is a challenge but it can be done much easier.
Enjoy the musings from my new book Beyond Sexual Attraction: 7 Steps To Reposition Yourself For Your Relationship Comeback.

I will come back to you on why this is so difficult and how that difficulty can be made simpler.

Enjoy Your Weekend! I am heading off to Camden, the place of our Conference next week.
Blessings!!

Enomfon Ntefon

Posted in Beyond Sexual Attraction, Relationships, Sexual Attraction, Women Relationships | No Comments »

You Stepped On My Toes, Dad!

Feb 26th, 2013 by

As we close in February, I wish to end this month on a funny and serious note!
We all know that this has been the love month and it is very funny that all through this month, I did not send out a post.
I was busy wrapping up the new book, Beyond Sexual Attraction

But remember, it takes more muscles to frown than it takes to laugh! I do not know how they counted them, but there we go…
Here we go!

Well, I must have been 4 or 5 years old and my father was in the sitting room with his friend.
I know they were talking big talk. I have no clue what it was. I was just sitting close to my dad. Who knows…
I must have been staring at his friend. Or even trying to get some busicuits from daddy’s visitor.

Daddy was desperately trying to get my attention. He wanted me to get up and go to my room or go to mummy. But I refused to look at him.
You know your child does that too! All 5 of mine have at different times!

Well, my dad had had it.
He suddenly put out his toes with slippers on and put just enough pressure on my to get my attention! I must have pretended not to feel it and then…
You know what I did?
I squealed! “Daddy, stop treading on my toes!”

Well, his friend half laughing said, “Da Mike why are you treading on your daughter’s toes”!
Well before my dad passed on 7 years later, he used to share this joke and we laughed over it…

On the 1st of March is my the anniversary of father’s death.
I still miss him 33 years on. I will look for his picture to post but for now, I am off to work!
If you have sweet memories of your own dad’s passing and wish to share, please feel free to!
My heart goes right now to Dr Rachel O. who recently lost her father. May your heart be comforted by the Lord Himself as
you grieve…

Many Blessings & Much Love,
Enomfon Ntefon

PS: Oh by the way get ready for the Book Launch on the 9th March in London & On Amazon in May.
Details at http://beyondsexualattraction.com

Posted in Beyond Sexual Attraction, Boundaries In Relationships, Relationships, Women Relationships | No Comments »

Valentine Special – Harness Your Emotions: Reposition Your Relationships 3

Feb 4th, 2013 by

Did you watch this?

Please do drop your comments below.
Watch out for BOOK LAUNCH Details!

Love Is Not Enough Conference will inspire you to next levels in your life and relationships.
Living in London? Then register at: http://bit.ly/W27lhK

Much love,
Enomfon

Posted in Beyond Sexual Attraction, Dating and Marriage, Relationships, Women Relationships | No Comments »

Our February Special – Harness Your Emotions: Reposition Your Relationships!

Feb 1st, 2013 by

Do listen in to this 10 part series of Harness Your Emotions: Reposition Your Relationships

Are you in control in your relationships always? If not, this is how. This has been a learning curve applying emotional control.
No one teaches you how to build your emotional inner strength for life and relationships.

Do leave your comments below.

PS: Join me and thousands as we launch Beyound Sexual Attraction: 7 Steps To Reposition Yourself For Your Relationship Comeback on Amazon in May.

https://www.facebook.com/events/123495187800480/?fref=ts

Posted in Women Relationships | No Comments »

Reposition Yourself To Win 2013

Jan 17th, 2013 by

Winning is a choice and is also a skill. Get some insight on how to get the wheel rolling! Do listen in.

Posted in Boundaries In Relationships, Dating and Marriage, Sexual Attraction, Women Relationships | No Comments »

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