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There was an incident in the Bible (Judges 21) where there was a shortage of men. Due to a war situation, the tribe of Benjamites was left with only 600 men.
But there was a BIGGER PROBLEM. Due to the tribe of the Benjamite starting the war, the other 11 tribal leaders took a vow before God that none of them would give their own daughters as wives to the Benjamites. What a punitive measure!

So the question now was. Where would the Benjamites get wives from to marry & propagate their race? with only 11 tribes left for Israel, how would God’s word be fulfilled?

Now the Israelites grieved for the tribe of Benjamin, their fellow Israelites. “Today one tribe is cut off from Israel,” they said. 7 “How can we provide wives for those who are left, since we have taken an oath by the Lord not to give them any of our daughters in marriage?”

The moral of this Bible incident is that inspite of this very adverse situation, leadership still found a way to remedy the situation.
It will still take college, community or church leadership to charge men to rise up. Men need strong leadership to empower men to become and remain obligated, accountable, and responsible. Continue reading

Are Christian Single Men Not Available?

Great question!

When I ask this question, I seem to have defensive answers and that really does not help as we seek for solutions to an issue
that is caused by an omission.
There was no Exodus announcing single men to move out from church. There has been a silent shift and that borders on the leadership of the church rather than the men walking out. There are also other factors and we must have conversation around this to solve it rather than compound the situation.
I posted this question on facebook and I had a serious answer here:
“Men are scarce in the church because christian women date more outside the church that inside.”

Do let us know, is this the case? Guys, Ladies let me know your thoughts!

Here I am discussing dating and marriage on a panel.

Have a great week!
Much love,

Is Marriage An End Or A Means To An End?

Good question!
But looking at this question, it seems like poles apart are so vast and the mindsets so different that it could take a million years to travel from one end of the spectrum to the other.
Yet, many couples set out “starry eyed” each with these different mindsets and then becoming one is so difficult.
It really does takes two to tango they say.

In a funny scenario, a woman gets married and sighs
“At last! I can now relax. I am Mrs now. I have this guy all to myself. Figuratively speaking, she has parked her car and pitches her tent.
A man, on the other hand marries and sighs in relief.
“It is over, What a project that was, what next? See what I got”?
He throttles off to his next achievement venture, leaving the woman wondering what went wrong.
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When Inertia Tries To Keep Your Relationship In Stagnation: How Do You Put The Bounce Back?

It is now that I appreciate Physics. During my classes, I throught it was boring & I had no choice but to go through it. Drum …drum…!

Today, I remember the word INERTIA.In physics it means:

A property of matter by which it continues in its existing state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line, unless that state is…

In real life it means STAGNATION or to break it down

“A tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged”.

This is the place where you get to after a crisis. Many times the tendency not to grow or do any thing of value can be over-bearing.

Many times, you want to curl up and just let life go on or you really want the world to stop while you get off!

Pausing is a great skill. If we can learn it. This does not mean, life has stopped but it is just pausing. When you pause, you will continue. For the time, you need to learn, unlearn, gather your momentum for the next steps…

You can leap better if you retreat first!

Every fiery and passionate relationship has to go through this phase  to test its QUALITY.  Every marriage will too for the same reason.

Yes, you see the bottom line is, if you cannot manage that phase, there  will be a likelihood of  allow the relationship to slowly glide towards a break down.

Do you get my flow now?  Many people in the relationship think, “it is over”!  ”We do not love ourselves anymore”. They allow wrong communication, yes, like rubbish in this gap and allow their emotional gaps to widen.  Many husbands & wives allow life to get in the way. They get too busy to give quality time to build their relationship.

Once, this understanding is in place, you can move on the next line of ACTION!So, to bounce back into that passion again,

4 things can turn the ignition on::

1. Take a walk together and reminisce how you started your relationship. This would stir up strong emotions as you  steer your conversation thoughts & emotions to recapture memories with the aim of “setting that emotional temperature”  you both need to recapture intimacy.
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Bounce Back Stories…Pastor Benny Hinn & Suzanne Hinn


We sort of missed this great marriage restoration as we were so much into our March “Love Is Not Enough Conference”.

But this happened last March. March happens to be our 22nd Marriage Anniversary!  But this was indeed a bounce back story of pain, divorce, reconciliation and restoration of hope, love &  re-marriage.

Indeed a testimony that it does not matter how bad it is, your marriage can be revived.

It symbolises God’s own kind of love. Pastor Benny Hinn’s Marriage Reunion to his wife Suzanne was that which took the Church by a grace & love storm!

The couple had been separated since January 26, but the papers were filed about a week later.   Don issued a statement saying, “Pastor Benny Hinn and his immediate family were shocked and saddened to learn of this news without any previous notice.  The couple has been married for more than 30 years.
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Bounce Back Stories….! Nelson Mandela


“I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended. – Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela has  had to walk a long walk to freedom!

That freedom has been one most expensive price ever paid.  Imprisoned from when he was 46 years old and for 27 long years, his spirit was bruised in every way possible but never crushed.

This is a bounce back story like no other. The choices we make after the experience determines how fast we move on or if we stagnate.

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”
- Nelson Mandela

Reading a few of his letters to his then wife, Winnie, you would not fail to feel that he was human aferall. Wanting to raise a family, protect his wife, provide for them and be all he could be You could never imagine that his life took such a trajectory that humanly possible a man’s spirit would break under the sheer weight of.human oppression.

How did he do it?

Hear one way here:

“As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.”  Nelson Mandela

Changing the world begins with changing ourselves.

Bouncing back is really a transformation, in other words!

So, we have to release personal pain in order to go forward!

I remember when I had to forgive my only surviving parent for not attending my wedding. It was a journey and forgiveness is a journey of transformation that has really changed my life. This can happen when we chose to allow the pain to be recycled into purpose. Nelson Mandela, highlights this:

“As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself… Great peacemakers are all people of integrity, of honesty, but humility.”

We can all learn from this great man.

You can bounce back from your own setbacks, failures and adversities!

Join us for on Your Freedom Calls You Radio for “Bounce Back Fast Into Your Comebacks” Click on link and join us every Thursday 8pm GMT

Do you strongly desire to Bounce Back Into Your Purpose & A Relationship Comeback?

Start here!






Break Ups To Bounce Backs? How??

Breaking up is not a joke at all. The break-up can be of immense pain and suffering. Break-ups can happen in any individual’s life, but you will have to bounce back from that suffering situation which is not very easy. Breaking up with your partner can induce immense pain and suffering and also emotional breakdown can be seen, which can influence you to do things that you would have never wanted to in a normal emotional condition.

Getting back up from a put down situation is going to take some time, as the pain inside will take a certain amount of time to get replenished. But what are the things that can be done to heal quickly from a break up? I am glad you asked.
Right after breaking up with your partner, you would feel certain stranded emotional feelings that will let you down from the inside. But, the formula is to keep your head always steady and a clear thought or vision that is needed before committing yourself to any kind of work or activity. Continue reading

Can We Heal Easily After A Break Up?

The question here is really,
How soon can I heal after a break up?
This is a major setback and it really does depend on several factors.

After a breakup, you really have two choices. One, leave the healing to time. Two, take charge of the recovery process. The first method will take a long time, pain and suffering before healing. It is slow and torturous. The second method, taking control, will allow anyone to accelerate the healing process, learn fast and move on, leaving space to find healthier and more fulfilling love than ever before. You may need some guidance on the steps for a fast and productive emotional healing. We have never been taught how to heal emotionally, so when we go through an emotional situation we are on our own. We need a method, a successfully proven method for emotional healing.

I have broken up before and so you are not alone and I wish for you to know that you can heal but how you heal depends on:

1. You ability to understand the reality of the situation.
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Wonderful! Spain Came To London Today!!

Wow, the weather is just beautiful here in London.

I enjoyed the weather in Spain, infact it felt like tropical Nigeria but flu tried to ruin it.

It was just let loose as a came back into the cold London weather on Wednesday morning.

But bouncing into the cold weather in London off set this terrible flu.

It was not funny, me with a raised temperature, sniffling and stuffy nose and red eyes that looked like I rubbed in red sauce snuggling under bedclothes…

But I am grateful that I am better but I will not push it too much this weekend and had to cancel 2 appointments for Saturday.

Well, that story gives a background of how to bounce back from a set backs.

Most of us can attest to having setbacks…those who have had break ups have quite a story…

Well plan to listen into our Radio Show, Your Freedom Calls You Radio, every Thursday, 8pm GMT.

We will interview guests who have experienced setbacks, especially break ups. When life happens we do not need to be bowed by pain.
We normally do. At least for a while. Some take years to bounce back. Break-ups are very difficult to bounce back from into an emotionally healthy life and relationships.

But we have some spicy treats on Your Freedom Calls You Radio Show…I am excited! We have the most powerfully authentic and living the talk voices on the show. Do not forget to tune in starting from this coming Thursday!

I look forward to having you listen in with friends! It will be an inspiration, encouragement and empower your personal transformation!

Get ready to get the oomph back into your life as you bounce back into your destiny!

Do have a wonderful sunny weekend!
Much grace,

Enomfon Ntefon
PS: Do leave a comment here as we join the conversation around your own bounce back story…
PSS: My book Beyond Sexual Attraction fanpage is below. Please do like it.

Help! Is My Relationship Breaking Up??

Breaking up is a painful journey so you have got to decide a destination at some point.

Many are still journeying, reliving the experience. Unforgiveness, bitterness, negative attitudes, and words pregnant with pain still said. These ones are still in the throes of that past experience.

Statistics from Tango proves that many have not moved on. Did I say Tango?

You seem to hear this around you, in today’s papers, on the streets, corner, in the taxi, shops, market…someone is talking about how he left her, how she is now single, how they are divorced…it seems never ending.

When there is no closure the book of that last experience is still open.

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